Love, true love, means allowing others the space to come in and out of your lives as they please.

Nejoud Al Yagout

We judge ourselves and others very harshly. We believe we should behave in certain ways, and when we stray from society’s obligations, we feel guilty, anxious and afraid. What if we cut ourselves some slack? When we begin to love ourselves, suddenly all that we perceived was wrong in others begins to dissolve too. Many people spend limitless energy being upset at those they love for being late, for canceling plans at the last minute or for not being there. And we end up punishing ourselves for doing so as well.

When we practice self-love, though, we give others permission to be themselves. We cut the cord of expectations and let them be. We get angry at others for not making time for us, but time is an illusion. It is always this moment when a person is in your life. Why condemn the moment for something that has passed or is yet to come? Who are we to vent to others about them, consequently, or hold grudges? Who is that is holding a grudge? Have you asked yourself who it is? And who is aware of it?

We are all free to be with who we want, when we want. If we allow ourselves to spend time with those we cherish when we choose to, then others should be given that freedom as well. We resonate at a higher frequency when we are happy. Why pressure anyone to spend time with us? Why stop adoring them when they do not reciprocate this desire? Love, true love, means allowing others the space to come in and out of your lives as they please. There are no rules. Why do our egos set such stringent boundaries? Why do we punish others for not behaving the way the ego wants them to behave? Ego is not love. Ego will never be love. Ego can never be love.

People “misbehave” all the time. And it may hurt, but when we evolve, we begin to understand that there is a consciousness governing all that is in place. There is nothing to judge. And in this awakening, we begin to practice love without trying. Suddenly, we begin to love without expecting anything in return. And, amazingly, when we stop judging others, they transform, we transform.

There is nothing we need to do to awaken to this reality. All is exactly as it should be. And this is a promise: When we open up to love, it will come running to us, forcefully. The universe will reward us with kind souls who are open and ready for love. And this is not done for reward, ever. It is something that arises naturally within us when we are ready. When it is done for reward, we are still operating at a low frequency, but this is accepted too, as part of our journey, as a result of conditioning. But when reward takes a backseat and love reigns, magic begins. We are finally ready to love unconditionally.

How sexy is it to love someone exactly the way they are? Where society sees flaws, we see beauty. Where society sees erratic behavior, we see possibility. Where society defines someone’s character, we see the natural flow. Where society sees fear, we see the potential for a love so potent, we are ready to surrender.

Love is too open for rules, labels and expectations. Way too open. And love can never be confined to a day, a time or a place. Love is too grand. Tell me, ain’t love grand?

By Nejoud Al-Yagout