Marriage is a beautiful blend between science and art. Expression is artistic yet how men and women think can be analyzed scientifically. For the past decade, the only advice I hear married men give is . . . don’t sleep while upset and don’t involve other people in your marriage. Although I fully agree with both, there must be more. While generic advice might save you a lot of heartache, my question is: How do you go from a good marriage to a great one?
My measure of success is always happiness. Not only when you are with your partner, but a general satisfaction with your life feeling that your partner is a true contributor, and no matter how hard it gets, it’s never bad because of them.
Well, I may not be the perfect example but the fact that my wife and I haven’t killed each other is a good sign.
It is so easy to get overwhelmed with work, obstacles and all the usual life annoyances that keep our mind busy. With time we tend to forget why we fell in love with our spouse in the first place.
Unlike the times you first started talking, where you lay in bed staring at the ceiling thinking of how wonderful they are. We assume that if its love we should feel it always with no effort. That is a big myth, a marriage does require a lot of effort, love itself does. There are many things we love but when they are not prominent in our mind we tend to forget our love for them.
In order to keep the marriage alive in your heart you must do the work and it does take effort.
My favorite thing to do is to take 10 minutes a day remembering all the little things I love about my wife. Really taking the time to appreciate her. My tone and attention towards her will be elevated the whole day because of it. This makes it easier to forgive her, let the little things go and appreciate her on a whole new level, all factors that are crucial to a marriage
The rule is simple. Act the same way you did in the beginning and there will be no end. While we work so hard to ensure our spouse is happy (or at least not miserable), we miss the true potential. If we shift the focus to ourselves and reignite our own passion in the relationship, everything else will magically fall into place. The butterflies will be back, and this level of love and appreciation will spill over into all areas of your life.
So take the time today to really appreciate your spouse. Go back in time to all the little things that took your breath away and the reasons why you fell for them in the first place. Seeing your spouse with love struck eyes will bring out the side of them you fell for. As if by magic you will appeal to all the sides of them that drew you in the first place.
By Hassan Al Mousawi