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Abusing power: Why some relationships are plain bad news

real-fouzUnfortunately, it is very common nowadays to witness or experience a relationship where physical/emotional or even verbal abuse takes place. It is very sad how the concept of love, prosperity and genuine care has changed over the years and even more than ever. When you’re with your partner and you feel like you have the need to control or change who or what they are then you need to leave that relationship, because you would only feel that way if you’re with someone who isn’t what you’ve had in mind or isn’t the ideal partner you’ve searched for.

I believe that people who allow themselves to be in abusive situations are people who have issues from within. They feel like this is what they deserve, they’re most likely to have had family issues growing up too, or an abusive parent. Anger and abuse are known to run in the family, and dysfunctional families are more likely to be exposed to abuse.

Exit plan
As an individual you need to believe that you deserve someone who genuinely loves and respects you as a human being not as an object. A relationship should be a part of your life not your entire life, your partner should be encouraging you and supporting whatever decision you make. If you were ever in a relationship where your partner is borderline abusive or abusive in any way, even verbal, you should definitely consider coming up with your exit plan. You should always consider and truly believe that you should leave your abusive partner.

No doubt about it, and usually he/she will make you feel guilty for making such a decision, or try to manipulate you to stay, but don’t allow yourself to stay in such situations. Always let someone know, explain to a close friend or family member what you’re going through. It is always helpful and healthy to talk about such things; it might encourage you to make the right decision. Victims of abuse often don’t know or realize that they are being abused, or are led to believe that they are the reason that they’re being abused.

Let us assume that you’ve actually made a mistake or did something wrong or disrespectful to your partner, you still don’t deserve to be abused or treated like your existence doesn’t matter. Put your foot down and let your partner know that it is not okay to treat you this way, take time off for yourself and clear your mind. Think about whether or not this is truly worth yourself respect and self worth.

Successful and genuine
I would never be able to stay with someone who’s abusive, I would feel neglected, worthless and not feminine. I wouldn’t feel like a woman. Women are to be treated gently, and with caution, as if they were fragile, because once a woman feels unsafe being around her partner, she will never be capable to give up her heart and soul for this relationship.

There are some things that happen that break something inside of you that cannot be fixed no matter how things change to the better. You can always forgive a person, not for them but for you to find peace with a situation and not dwell on it, but it is almost impossible to forget the way a person made you feel.

Be strong for yourself and for your loved ones around you. You set the tone of the relationship, some people might be intimated by the fact that you are independent, successful and genuine, and that is only a sign of weakness. Be around people who life you up and make you grow as a human being, and who will always be around no matter what.

Relationships are always tricky and confusing, but once you find the right person things just happen naturally and things fall into place by their own, and that is when your heart knows. Even then you will face problems, and that is okay, but never allow people to bring you down or make you feel anything but beautiful and worthy.

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This article was published on 03/06/2015